Outside The Comfort Zone

Today, while talking with a friend, he asked if I was adjusting to small town life okay. I said I was, but then proceeded to talk about my observation of the area. I came to a realization, so I thought I'd share...

Before we moved here, the realtor and builder kept telling us how great a place it was, and how everyone is so friendly. While looking around, and throughout the building process, it seemed like a great place. When we actually got in, though, it seemed a little quiet. What I said to my friend today, was that I think the people are friendly, they just don't know how to venture out of their comfort zone. There are quite a few projects in this area right now, so there are a lot of people moving in who have felt the same way. They are friendly, but they don't usually make the first move.

I showed up at Allie's school Christmas party a little bit early to help set up. The children were still down at the computer lab, so for the set up time, and up until the children came in, the classroom was just parents trickling in to "party" with their little Kindergartners. The strange thing was, nobody was talking. People who showed up with a spouse or younger child weren't even talking to each other. And I felt like I was the only one who thought this was in the least bit strange. So, I tried to strike up a conversation with one of the other moms asking her which child was hers...she responded, but didn't ask which was mine...so after a brief pause I volunteered the information. I asked a few more random questions, but was met with mostly shy answers. So...I moved on to a different mom. LOL. I asked her the same questions. She, however, asked them back and we started to have .... *gasp* ... a real conversation. Flowing very smoothly for a few minutes. She turned her attention to her younger child for a moment, and I started chatting with one of the dads who had just come in. Amazingly...very slowly the parents started talking to each other!

This situation doesn't seem to be an isolated incident. The experience at the Kindergarten Christmas party is sort of small scale model of the community. If anyone needs volunteers, they only look at those who they have spoken to before, rather than putting up signs to recruit new people. If someone is trying to rally new members of an organization, they ask family members to join. In a community of this size, they could have so much support and involvement if they would just put up a sign, send a flier home from school, or advertise in the paper.

My realization was this: Do I stay in my comfort zone too much? Do I also wait for someone else to make the first move? Do I wait for someone to ask for volunteers or do I seek out the opportunity? Do I invite my neighbors over or do I wonder why I haven't met them yet, but do nothing?

In my family, am I communicating my thoughts and feeling, plans and goals, or am I waiting for my husband and children to develop psychic skills and read my mind? Am I recruiting helpers for a job who I've asked to do it before, or am I working with the younger ones as well, to get them involved?

I just want to be sure that I'm not just doing what I've always done. I want to do the things that work, but be able to recognize where and how to make improvements, especially in outreach and communication. This city is great and the people here have a lot to share. I don't want my own family and children, neighbors and potential friends, to have to work so hard at finding me.

As far as me finding me, that's a whole different story...