Subsiding Strength

I struggled with the temptation all through the quiet moments--minutes, hours--time stood still as only my aching mattered. My head clouded and foggy, the want called to me.
My willpower was waning and I was caving. Surely I could ease the pains, the tension, the anxiety just a little bit. Of course, the reason for resisting shouted at me, louder now that I was going to give in; I wouldn't be able to calm it just a little--that's the way it was--a little bit led to little more and a little more.
Why couldn't I be stronger? Why did I lack the control, when others, even those so much my junior, could stay distracted-just enough? No! I wasn't strong enough, and temptation's arguments were cunning and smooth. So what if I would want more and more? Could it be as bad as the yearning that I felt now? The sleepless hours I had just spent putting off my small pleasure. And the consequences couldn't be worse than the pain I endured to resist.
Once the resolve was gone, I didn't need allurement to guide my actions. My body acted quickly, assuredly, one with my intent.
I freed myself from the burning and longing that I could no longer rebuff.
Temptation drew me in and I was a slave to the gratification. I would take whatever penalty and suffering my moment of pleasure would yield!
Scratching that mosquito bite just felt so good!