How many times today did you take a moment to really look at those around you? How many times did you really see your husband, your child, your mother, father, brother, sister, friend? How many times did you look in their eyes and really feel them? Did you hear their words or really listen to what was unsaid?
Two weeks ago, my dear friend was planning her weekend, playing with her kids, cleaning the house, waiting for her husband to come home from work. He didn't come home that day, and he won't be coming home this week or next week to kiss his two small boys. My friend won't be spending the weekend with her husband any time soon. While driving on the highway, our friend was run off the road by a truck, and his car hit a telephone pole. They will see him again, but their plans for their life have, for now, been delayed for the next 60 years
My heart broke for my friend. Having to plan a funeral, rather than a life together seems impossible, and yet, faced with it, through support and love, she made it through. She is grieving, but she pushes on every moment, every day. She has asked those of us who knew him to record memories and stories about him so that she can compile them for her small boys to read, hear, tell, and reflect upon. I know that they already have some of the best memories of him right now, even though they are small. When they shrieked with delight as he came in the door, they will remember the way he stopped and held them and hugged them and looked at them. They will remember the way that their papi had made them feel.
Every moment is building a feeling, building a memory. Every look you give your child, every word you say to your spouse, every time you smile at a friend. These are moments that you are building a memory. Are you present in that moment? Are you giving what you can and allowing yourself a breath of peace to enjoy it? This doesn't mean that you have to like everything that happens. When you suddenly have some mystery mess to clean up, you probably won't be thinking, "I love this moment. I wish I could scrub kool-aid out of the carpet all the time. It's my favorite thing to do." You can't control everyone and everything that goes on around you. But what you can do, is control your own reaction to it. You can choose what you teach your child at that moment, and you can control what character trait in yourself that you choose to develop at that point. And in the next moment, you will choose again. And again in the next.
Today, Aidan made a fish pet. He put a very little bit of water in a water balloon and drew on it and put it in a fish bowl. It was adorable. I was wrapped up in a news story that had just broken, so while I tried to read the story, Aidan asked me for a marker, for the drawing part. I told him just a minute and continued reading. And then about five minutes later, he asked again and totally called me to task. "Mom, if you wanted me to do something, would you want me to keep ignoring you and doing something else? No you wouldn't because you said that's rude." While patience is a virtue, procrastination on another's part is not a good example. In this moment I realized that I did not have to read that story. What I had to do was help my son get his sharpie so that his little pet goldfish could get into his fish tank. And you know what? I love that moment. I love that he reminded me that my child was more important than the story.
In this moment, Aidan was my fullest. WE sharing a moment was the FULLEST that we could be, and I'm so thankful that I didn't delay one moment longer.
