I hate them.
Okay, that was three words.
I feel like in a world where we are fighting to keep our families together, fighting to keep interests together, fighting to keep our finances in check (recession, anyone??), "man caves" are entirely over rated. Why all the positive publicity on man caves, when there should really be some negative publicity about them. When we design our homes, we are creating a warm and inviting place for our friends and family to come and share and enjoy he company of others.
If you happen to have extra room for a ping pong table, great. But shouldn't that be a "game room" or "rec room" for the whole family to enjoy together, rather than isolated and dubbed as belonging to one gender? In our very "equal" time of society, how do people even justify saying that men are the only ones who want to play?
I vaguely remember a suggestion about "cave time" in a popular relationship guidebook, but as I recall, he was not specifically suggesting creating an actual "cave," rather he was suggesting that in "some" cases it would be a literal retreat, ie, a garage or time with friends, others it would just be a mental retreat from the stressors. He didn't imply that one should invest great sums of money and take space away from a family living environment to create an area to isolate oneself on a regular basis.
Take a few minutes to quietly connect with your thoughts, fine. Take the only precious few hours you may have with your family and isolate yourself from that interaction, not okay.
It will be much easier to connect with your family and friends if you are sharing passions, interest, hobbies, and more importantly, time.
3 comments:
I like what you've written here, but allow me to offer a different perspective.
I think everyone in a family needs a space to get away from togetherness. Being a family seems to be a lot more than just doing everything together. Sometimes an individual needs time just to be himself, or herself, away from the eyes of family. Just to think, or not think, as he or she chooses.
Kids often have their own bedrooms and can close the door on the world and just be. Granted, it can be difficult to get them engaged, especially teenagers. But they want their own music and their own "thing", and that's OK too.
Parents share a bedroom. So why shouldn't each have a place of his or her own, just to be for awhile?
I think it's healthy. I can't imagine not having a chance to just be alone for a bit. Same with Pam. We love to be together and do things together, but we also cherish our alone time. Sharing and being with family is great. But I think alone time is also important to develop individuality.
Families may be related and love spending time together, but they are also made up of individuals who may have divergent interests. I think that healthy families and relationships learn the balance between together time and alone time.
Well the treat the whole world as their latrine so let his man cave be that too, the backyard!!! Lol.
Sesha, in your case, your man has a few caves, and his desire to share them with everyone is awesome.
If the outdoors is your escape, awesome.
Travis, thanks for your comments. I agree that everyone needs their own space to reconnect with their own thoughts and develop individually as a person, which gives them something to share with others. Thank you for sharing that.
Maybe my main complaint is when marketing companies and/or friends/coworkers try to tell someone what they need in their own personal man cave. Or, as with all things, if people are spending TOO much time isolating themselves.
As a disclaimer, this post was not addressed to anyone specifically. Just all the hype. :)
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